I ahsmoka da weed and I a falla down to my knees. I lay down in da grass and saw pink and green swirling. I a drank too much egg nog and it a come up and up and out onto the floor.

The first and only time I got high was the fall of 1986 at Disney World in Orlando. My church youth group drove down from Tallahassee in a rickety van to attend the annual “Night of Joy” concert that featured a dozen Christian pop and rock bands performing throughout the park all night. One of my more rebellious friends brought a bag of very potent hash brownies that we devoured on the ride down (along with a dozen oranges he infused with vodka), and by the time we arrived at the gates of the Magic Kingdom my head was spinning. To make a long story short, I became very ill during Stryper’s set where they world premiered tracks from their now-classic concept album To Hell With The Devil. I’ll never forget trying my best to run to the nearest restroom while the band performed the hit hair ballad “Honestly”, but I was unsuccessful and needed up vomiting and soling my pants just a few feet from the band. My buddy and I were kicked out of the park and had to sit in the sweltering van for eight hours while we waited for the Night of Joy to finally end. So even to this day 32 years later the name Stryper makes me think of pot, vomit and soiled stone-washed jeans from Chess King. Memories…

I used to have a friend who thought that it might be a good idea to grow weed in the local park. He didn’t really think it through though – parks do tend to have their own gardeners. Anyhow, the real gardener informed the police, who lay in wait for him and he was caught red-handed (or green-fingered) when he went to tend his plants. He was hauled up in front of the local court, fined and his plants were destroyed.

I wish I could swing for the fence here. But this will likely be a bunt.
I am not nor have I ever been a partaker of the devil’s lettuce.
But I have been to a couple of Willie Nelson concerts. Does that count?
I did try to smoke once. But I was probably too afraid.
I did catch my late dad and his old hippie friend from high school (who was also his neighbor) in the backyard one afternoon smoking. It was quite funny since they were trying to hide it from me like school children. Grown men in their 50s hiding their pot from me who was in my late 20s.
TB

This one time I was smoking weed… Hahaha. Uh, I forget where I was going with this.

I had a friend living in Chicago in the early 00’s. I drove up from Louisiana to spend a week with him and his girlfriend. We stumbled upon a Blues Festival at Grant Park one weekend day. It was packed and hot, so we ended up sitting under a shady tree that was actually across the street, but still with a great view and sound of the festivities. We weren’t there for long when a homeless guy sits down behind us. He pulls out a joint and offers it around. My buddy passes, but his girlfriend and I were in our “Yes to everything” phase… We get over halfway done, and she says “Huh… this has a funny taste to it.” and I said “Yeah, what’s in this?” and our new friend says “Crack cocaine!” We look at each other, stunned. We all cracked up, but with more than a bit of worry on our minds.

Same trip, different story…
On our way back to Amsterdam from Paris we saw the same group of undercover cops on the train and just laughed, they must do this all the time.
We also met this wild dude with a mullet. He was a real estate agent from the US vacationing abroad. He looked so professional on his real estate business card. He truly was business in the front and party in the back. He reminded me of the Dude from the Big Lebowski; just totally care free. We went to a coffee shop with him and he offered to buy. He was so funny the way he was talking to the cafe workers like they were bartenders. “Hey bartender, we need another round,” he would yell.
Well anyway, I got completely baked. Not half baked, fully baked. And i may have started to freak out a bit. The cafe was playing techno music and the beat was hard and fast. I can get down with techno from time to time, but definitely not when I’m high. My heart started racing and felt like it was trying to go along to the crazy beat of the music. I looked at my friends wild eyed and anxious and said “I can’t take it, I gotta get out of here.” Without hesitation I just got up and left. I wasn’t sure where I was going; I just knew I needed some peace. Then I saw it… a pastry shop. I went in and ate the most delicious cake I ever had in my life. Every bite was like heaven and I completely forgot about anything that was troubling my mind. There was only me and the cake.
When I found my friends again I told them about this magical cake. They were all jealous that they didn’t come with me and stayed at the techno cafe instead. And that’s how i got the nickname JeffNoTechno

A group of friends and I were in Amsterdam in 2003. Midway through the trip we took a train to Paris to stay there for a few days. Not thinking about how we were now traveling to another country with different laws, no one thought about how we were bringing weed with us. We got off the train and a cute playful looking dog started jumping at my friend. Still oblivious I was like “Oh cool, I think that dog likes you man!” Out comes a group of 5 undercover cops who immediately take us into custody. We were scared shitless as we had no idea what the drug laws were in France. They searched my bag and found nothing so they let me go, same with one of my friends. But the rest of my friends were holding so they stayed behind. We feared for the worst. About 30 minutes later my friends come outside laughing. The cops confiscated the weed and fined them about 20 euro. Justice is swift and fair in Gay Paree!

Never smoked but have a few weed related stories. One of them is beeing at a show of a certain Dan you perfectly know. The show was in France so he had me translate “I want weed” in French to write on sign he could wore while we were walking in the streets. He then wore it as a big necklace during his show.
Very cool memory! Always nice to hang out with Dan and hopefully, we didn’t meet any cop!

A friend from high school got lost in Stavanger after smoking, because he couldn’t stay were the group was, because the wind was hitting him wrong.