The White Stripes
"The Big Three Killed My Baby" b/w "Red Bowling Ball Ruth"
scum stats: original SFTRI pressing was 500 on red vinyl (I think), a shit ton on black, TMR version is 150 copies on tri-color and a shit ton on black
Week one of living in a world of three little girls crawling around this house has me generally optimistic about how the next 18 years of my life will play out. While some folks response to my having a three month paternity leave is "wow...no work!" it hardly plays out that way.
It should come as a surprise to no one that running a record label is FAR less work than wrangling a 5 year old, a 2 year old, and a newborn. Three months paternity leave is three months deep in the trenches. School pick-up and drop-off, pediatrician visits, ballet class, coordinating mattress deliveries, hanging on the telephone with customer service, runs to the pharmacy, grabbing carryout food, play time activities director, homework assassin, second string burper, furniture assemblyman, sleepy time therapist are all things I've tackled in the week since Navy Eleanor was born.
I just try and GET SHIT DONE as much as I can when I'm here. Don't let tasks pile up. Smile every once in awhile.
Woke up this morning to a dead battery in my car. Let my mother-in-law borrow it to run to the grocery store the other day, but had to back it out of the driveway because she felt uncomfortable doing so herself. It was raining, I turned on the headlights and she never turned them off. Ugh.
Usually this is something I would let fester, Uber in to work for a couple of days before finding the time and energy to address it. But on leave, I waste NO time.
Battery wouldn't jump and the most complicated thing I can do re: car maintenance is replacing a dead battery. So I am on top of this. I pull out my sorry excuse for a tool box, disconnect the terminals, throw the dead, ten-year-old battery in the back of my wife's car and ramble on down to Autozone to get a replacement. $140 something later I'm back in business. There's still some alert lights pinged on the dash, but hell, I really just drive this thing to work and back. I can wait those out.
So as I type here with fingers still greasy from the transplant, I can't help but think of how much the early existence of the White Stripes was tied to car troubles. "The Big Three Killed My Baby" was not tongue-in-cheek, it was a frustrationary tale firmly rooted in real life. The Third Man Upholstery van had no windshield wipers and woudn't start if it was rainy. But Jack figured out some way to wrap tinfoil around SOMETHING under the hood to get that sucker humming. I never did figure out what that was. Pretty sure that van only went out of town once, to Chicago in '98, for Two Star Tabernacle opening for Jeff Tweedy at Lounge Ax and then two days later the Stripes opening for the Sadies and the Waco Brothers. Jack and Meg sat in the two front seats and since there were none in the back (it WAS a delivery van) I sat on a bean bag. So dangerous. Oh yeah, there was no radio! We had to use a boom box on that trip (listening to demos by Poopy Time) but most of the time in that vehicle it was just the low hum of the wheels on the road. Meditational silence.
A two day tour in January 2000 was side-tracked as Meg's Ford Escort just stopped moving on I-94 right outside of Chicago. Had to cancel the gig in Youngstown, OH that night. Yes, the White Stripes did tour dates in a FORD ESCORT. Well, one date. Then the car died.
The first "official" vehicle of the band was a maroon van used starting around spring/summer of 2000. It ran well most of that tour, but something went haywire in Los Angeles. I'm pretty sure a large portion of the profits from that tour went to the $800 worth of repairs in Denver to fix the incorrect work done by the crew in LA.
So much uncertainty, so much resignation to the fact that the mechanic could say "you need a johnson rod" and ultimately having to be beholden to them and whether or not they decided to screw you that day. Cars still seem overwhelming to me, but I'm not as scared of them as I used to be.
"The Big Three Killed My Baby" was originally written for Andre Williams to sing with Two Star Tabernacle and we released the fruits of those sessions back in the Vault however long ago. But to me, it was always perfect when Jack and Meg tackled it. The b-side to their version was originally supposed to be "Stop Breakin' Down" and was pitched as an "anti-automotive" single. But "Red Bowling Ball Ruth", the song "inspired" by AC/DC's "Have a Drink On Me" seemed to be more appropriate here. Song title came from a bowling ball that was kicking around Jack's house at the time that was inscriped "Ruth" and was red. It may have come from the burned out East Warren lanes, but I digress.
The typeface on this single was originally set to be something different, but the designers (Andy and Patti Claydon) found out that it was $500 to use it, so they just ripped it off free-hand, or so I was told. The logo on the original SFTRI edition was a re-appropriation of the Tucker Automobile logo, and instead of it's slogan "The Symbol of Safety" it was labeled "The Symbol of Sympathy."
The huge photograph of a motor on the cover was something left over from a photo shoot or film shoot that Jack had worked on as a production assistant and years after he'd moved out of his Ferdinand house, I found the "insert your money here" tag underneath the rug in that room.
Whomever tells the best story here regarding car breakdown, car repair or anything in the car realm gets a tri-color version of this record. Cool? Cool. Back to diapers for me.
Mine isn’t good, but here’s the only time my car has broke down… Twice in the same night for a Jack White show. Auditorium Theater in Chicago 2014.
My wife’s car blew up an hour outside of town (with 2 1/2 hours to go). We pushed it into a small town’s car shop. My mom came to the rescue with her and a friend driving 2 separate cars to this town so that I could take one the rest of the way. We get to the show, and it was amazing as expected. On the way out of Chicago, I completely destroy a tire on something. I still don’t know what it was. A rather unhelpful Illinois state trooper shined a flashlight while watching me struggle to change the tire. I ended up buying 2 new tires for my mother’s friend’s car and some sort of ac motor belt drive for the wife’s car. It was an expensive frustrating drive to and from ($800+), but the show still made it worthwhile.
First time I went to Bonnaroo there was somewhat of a situation. I was driving with three friends in the car somewhere in NJ. We were traveling from NY so the trip had just begu. Suddenly a guy in a really really nice car drives up next to me on my right hand side. He is pointing his fingers at me and furiously moving his lips. He’s definitely cursing me out, but why? Me and my friends decide this must be road rage. I KNEW how to handle this. They taught me in drivers ed. I didn’t DO that thing though. Instead I smiled and laughed because I was nervous. He swerved towards me and pushed me onto the shoulder. I immediately stopped. After recollecting ourselves and calming down I gained pace with the highway and continued the trip. Maybe 2 or 3 exits further we see a really really nice car pulled over on the exit ramp. It was him. He even got out of the car to put his full weight behind giving me the middle finger. He was screaming. At this point it’s whatever. We all crack up. It wasn’t until about an hour later while we were stopped at a gas station that I noticed something.
Quick backstory. My car windows have rain guards. It’s possible that one of those rain guards may have been broken by leaning a heavy rug against it prior to the road trip incident. It’s also possible duct tape is cheaper than buying a whole new rain guard set for one piece.
Anywho, I noticed something. The was a piece missing from my car. A piece that I craftfully duct taped on. A piece that probably couldn’t withstand high speeds on the interstate. A piece that may have taken wind and collided with a really really nice car
If the angry man reads this please accept my deepest apologies. I am clearly at fault. I imagine you remember my car since you’ve probably cursed every other one you’ve seen since that day. Get in touch and tell me my car and let’s make this right. And to anyone with the same car as me that’s caught shade from a man in New Jersey I apologise.
I was rescued by my best girl friend (friend who is a girl) after I crashed in the snow. BUT, I didn’t know her yet! Two years after the rescue we began working together and immediately loved each other. We even moved to three other jobs together. About three years after we began working together I told my story of flying off the road into a ditch. I was rescued by a mom with two young children in the back of her minivan. She said, “I know I shouldn’t be stopping for some random person on the side of the road with my children in the car but you looked in need and…so sad” When I finished the story she lost her mind and said, “Keith! That was me!! I took you to Seasons (my job at the time) right?” Absolutely she did! Wow! Just..wow. It’s times like those that make me appreciate how lucky I have been in my life. Not only was I rescued from a bad situation (car crash/snow storm) but also my to-be best friend was the person who helped me. I still can’t believe it. Thanks everyone for reading
-kharnick
Congratulations for you and your family! The first truck I bought was in South West Detroit. I picked up a 1995 Ford F250 because I needed it for work. This was 2014 so the truck had seen better days. I purchased it and drove it straight off the lot to a mechanic to get, among other things, a brake job. Instead of waiting at the shop I went down to a hole in the wall bar where I met some guys who were having a good time at 1 in the afternoon. Long story short they swore up and down they were on the line where my truck was built. We walked to the shop where it was being worked on and lo and behold they were right, as far as I could tell. It was a cool experience. They even offer to fix it up some other things under the hood for free. Those guys made my day. That truck ran pretty well for a few years.
So it as 1995 and I was getting ready to graduate from MSU… after being motivated by my awesome roommate I attended a career fair. Threw my resume along with everyone else’s into a big bucket and moved on. Well a few weeks later I received a call for an interview at POST cereal in BCreek. Not having a car… to take the 60+ mile trek… so again my awesome room mate said take my car. Well… his old ford had one small issue… of it got too cold, he had to take a super long extension cord into the driveway with a hairdryer and thaw out the door lock so the door would shut. in Michigan we know that snow could fall when it was 70F the day before! So that morning as I braved going, nervous, and worried about the interview let along the car… I had to do the hairdryer trick… luckily on the way home the door shut! Thanks goodness as I can’t exactly see my self asking them for a hair drier at the interview. Anyway Dave is a forever friend! And yes I got the job. ?
Ben congratulations to you and your family. Before you know it they will all be teenagers so enjoy each day!
To go with the repairs in Denver for the Maroon van. My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Colorado 2002, we were 22 and had no money so I bought some tickets to see Tom Petty and Jackson Brown at Red Rocks (one of the best concerts). We had a weekend to go into the mountains and do some hiking and whatnot as well. The first day after getting in from Nebraska we were driving South toward Colorado Springs our radiator had had enough and forced us off the road. After putting some water in to cool it down, we limped to the nearest exist and the first mechanic we could find. The car in question was a 1994 Honda Accord, and this mechanic just so happened to have the radiator in hand for a car he was working on. Now two things of note A) I was not at a Honda dealership, and B) I wasn’t hoodwinked as the radiator was clearly cracked. The mechanic got us up and running after a couple hours which we spent at the nearby VI, Village Inn Restaurant for the unfamiliar. I have had plenty of cars and plenty of fixes but this is the most memorable as it was our honeymoon and the happenstance of finding the radiator ready for us at the first mechanic at the first exit was serendipitous.
Just this summer, driving from Jack’s show in Columbus to Jack’s show in Cleveland, with three more shows in NY and Toronto to follow, on a stretch of three-lane highway in the middle of Ohio in the middle of the night with no lights on the sides of the road, a raccoon suddenly ambled into my headlights. Two bumps later, I realized I’d just hit and killed an animal for the first time ever. The car seemed ok and there was nothing I could do for a raccoon in the middle of the highway, so I teared up a bit but continued on. Less than an hour down the road, I suddenly hear a horrible scraping sound so I pull over onto the shoulder, get out, and see that the entire front grill of the car was knocked loose and had been dragging on the ground. Half the numbers on the license plate had been scraped away. Fortunately, I keep a roll of duct tape in the back of the car (“Duct tape, it’s not just for baby-sitting anymore!” (That’s not a hint for you, Ben)). Five minutes and probably 15 feet of tape later, I’m back on the road surprised that a raccoon could knock an entire front grill loose, but glad that the rest of the car seemed ok. The next day was a day off before the Cleveland show, so I decided to explore the city. Driving around a sketchy part of town I’d ended up in, the check engine and overheating lights suddenly came on. I pulled into a parking lot, pulled out the owners manual, and tried to figure out what was going on. Looking under the front of the car, I find the bastard raccoon (RIP, poor bastard raccoon…) had dented the brace under the radiator, which cracked it and fluid was leaking all over the place. Tried to start the car again to see if I could find a shop, but it was totally overheated. Dead. A few frantic phone calls later, my insurance company recommended a local shop on the other side of town and AAA sent a tow-truck that got me there just as the place was locking up. The manager said they’d be too busy to look at the car for at least a couple of days. With visions of my NY and Toronto tickets floating in my head, I begged, pleaded, and cajoled him into promising he’d look at it first thing in the morning. Instead of hanging out with friends at Jacobs Pavilion the next day, I spent hours on the phone at the inn where I was staying, trying to find a rental car so I could continue on to NY that night after Jack’s show. There were NO rental cars to be found that day ANYWHERE in Cleveland because the NBA playoffs were in town. Finally found a place that promised I could have a car first thing the next morning, for the “discounted” rate of $185 a day. But that meant I needed a place to sleep that night, at which point I found out there were NO hotel rooms to be found ANYWHERE in Cleveland because… the NBA playoffs were in town. Ended up just outside the city limits in the worst dive hotel I’ve ever had the displeasure of staying in (bed bugs would be the least of this place’s issues) for $200. The ONLY bright spot to this situation was that God or whatever’s above had smiled on me in the early entry lottery, so I had the time to deal with all of the repair/rental car/hotel room crap and was still able to get a good spot for that night’s show. Got the rental car bright and early the next morning, drove on to the the two shows in NY and the one in Toronto, drove back to Cleveland, picked up my car with its new radiator (if you ever need a mechanic in Cleveland, I highly recommend Conrads Tire Express & Total Car Care), and headed home a day later than originally planned. Got home and found out my insurance company wouldn’t cover the exorbitant cost of the rental car, and now I can’t see a dead raccoon on the side of the road anymore without thinking of that trip. Does this count as a car story or a wildlife story…?
May 2018. My ex-girlfriend and I are road tripping 8 hours to see Jack’s 2 night residency in DC for my birthday. We set off early on the morning of the first show, making sure to leave plenty of time for traffic, etc. We pull off the highway to gas up and our tire explodes on the exit ramp! We veer into a desolate parking lot, stranded in a one horse town, hours away from DC.
In a past life, this would have sent us spiraling down a black hole of blame and resentment, both of us looking for an outlet for our disappointment. But we both learned from those past mistakes. With the clock ticking, we work together to attach the spare.
There’s no way we’d make it to the show on a worn-out spare so we hobble into town, frantically calling any body shop in the vicinity for a replacement tire. One body shop recommends another and so on, until, with the help of a little southern hospitality, we find our tire. It’s the middle of the day and we’re behind a line of cars at the small town body shop, watching the minutes melt away. Still, we resist the temptation to lose our cool and maintain positive attitudes. She waits at the body shop and I trek a mile up the road to pick up sandwiches. By the time I return, the car is miraculously fixed! We jet back onto the highway and race to DC, blasting Jack the whole way.
We make it to the show just as Lillie Mae hits the stage. Later that night, Jack annihilates us when he plays “We’re Going to Be Friends” “You’ve Got Her in Your Pocket” and “I’m Slowly Turning Into You” back to back to back. For my ex and I, this trilogy of songs encapsulates our storied, complicated past; articulating things left unspoken, unresolved. We hug and weep, losing ourselves to one of the most profound, cathartic musical experiences of either of our lives.
Congrats Ben! 2 quick stories regarding headlights. When I was 15 I borrowed a friends car at night and forgot to put the lights on and got pulled over by the Berkley Police. My parents ended up having to pick me up at the police station. Got in big trouble! 2nd story: Driving from CMU to Romeo at night with my best friend’s girlfriend (she used to be mine) and my lights went out while driving down M-53. A dark 2 lane country road with no lights. I told her we have to pull over until daylight. She said NO! I have to see my boyfriend tonight! I was taking her to his house. So we drove for what seemed like 50 miles in the dark with no headlights! Almost had a head-on collision because of it. Never drove with her in my car again!