HOWDY FOLKS. IF YOU'RE READING THIS, THAT MEANS YOU SURVIVED THE WOLF EYES INSTAGRAM TAKEOVER AKA "UNFOLLOWGATE." WASN'T THAT FUN??? I WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF TIMMY'S ORGANISM AND VIDEO HAD A TURN AT THE WHEEL? HMMM...

ANYWAY, DEVIL'S NIGHT (SOLD OUT) IS FAST APPROACHING (YEAH, IT'S THIS FRIDAY, HOLY MOSTACCIOLI) AND IT'S PROBABLY BEST FOR YOU TO PREP WHATEVER'S LEFT OF THAT DECREPIT VIBE YOU CALL A SOUL AND READ CLOSE FOR SOME IMPORTANT DETAILS.

FIRST, IT IS OUR ESTEEMED PLEASURE TO CONFIRM THAT OUR HOST FOR THE EVENING IS THE ORIGINAL QUEEN OF NOISE, CHERIE CURRIE, FORMER LEAD SINGER OF THE RUNAWAYS! DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE.

SECOND, SINCE THERE'S NO ENTRY GRANTED TO ANYONE WITHOUT A COSTUME (OR A PHOTO ID), IT'S ONLY RIGHT AND NATURAL TO PIT POPEYE VS. PINOCCHIO IN A NO HOLDS BARRED COSTUME CONTEST, COMPLETE WITH GILDED POLYMER TROPHIES FOR FIRST, SECOND, AND THIRD PLACE. WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCED AFTER ALL BANDS HAVE PLAYED AND SPECIAL PRIZES WILL FOLLOW. HEHEHE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF GARB! THE COSTUME-WEARER DEEMED #1-IN-THE-BUNCH WILL WIN THE MOST MEGA PRIZE PACK WE CAN THINK OF: THE BLUE RIBBON TROPHY, A SET OF ALL THREE LIMITED EDITION #AUDIOSOCIALDISSENT RECORDS (MORE ON THAT LATER), A TOUR OF THIRD MAN RECORDS HEADQUARTERS, AND A $100 GIFT CARD.

THIRD, HEHEHE, OUR DEAR FRIEND AND SPIRITUS RECTOR WILLIAM KEIHN WAS KEIHND ENOUGH TO CONJURE A TRULY MARVELOUS POSTER FOR THE EVENT. WE HERE AT TMR HAVE LONG RESPECTED BOTH HIS MIND AND HIS #TMAPPROVED AESTHETIC SO, NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE ARE SMILING. THE POSTER WILL BE AVAILABLE IN TWO COLORS, BOTH IN AN EDITION OF FIFTY: POLICE LIGHT BLUE AND SAFETY CONE ORANGE. DON'T SNOOZE ON THIS.

FOURTH, WE'LL ALSO BE OFFERING AN ARRAY OF ONE-TIME ONLY SOUVENIRS BASED ON THE KEIHN DESIGN. ARE YOU WISE TO THIS?

FIFTH, PLEASE PARK IN THE MISSION PARKING LOT ACROSS THE STREET FROM TMR. PARK IN THE STREETS TOO. COME HANG EARLY AND GET THAT SWEET SPOT THATS ALWAYS ELUDED YOU. A TARDY PUNK IS A VEXED PUNK. AND LOOK. HAVE FUN. BE SAFE BUT NOT TOO SAFE.

SIXTH, LEST YOU FORGET, THIS IS A RELEASE SHOW FOR NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUT THREE BEAUTIFULLY TERRIFYING RELEASES FROM VIDEO, TIMMY'S ORGANISM, AND WOLF EYES. SO, YES, THIS MEANS THE LIMITED EDITION VERSIONS OF THESE RECORDS WILL BE FOR SALE AT THE EVENT AND ARE AS FOLLOWS— VIDEO THE ENTERTAINERS: BOOTLEG EDITION (Painted, screen printed, and assembled by hand at TMR headquarters. Made from dollar bin records turned inside out. Five variations exist: black, blue, green, red, and blank cover art. Black vinyl. Includes an exclusive newsprint poster.); WOLF EYES I AM A PROBLEM: MIND IN PIECES: BUTTERCREAM VINYL; TIMMY'S ORGANISM HEARTLESS HEATHEN: VULGAR VINYL (Mixed color vinyl).

HERE'S THE SCHEDULE...

7:00-8:30pm: Doors, Grill Out (Hot Dogs, Veggie Dogs, Burgers!), Specialty Devil's Night Cocktails, Free S'mores from Bang Candy, Photo Op with Third Man photographer Angelina Castillo
8:30-9:00pm: Host Introduction
8:30-9:00pm: Essential Tremors
9:00-9:15pm: DJ/Changeover
9:15-9:55pm: VIDEO
9:55-10:15pm: DJ/Changeover
10:15-10:55pm: Timmy's Organism
10:55-11:10pm: DJ/Changeover
11:10-12:00am: Wolf Eyes

12:00-12:15pm: Host Farewell / Costume Contest Winners